The most common debate between me and my mum is of maintaining relationships.
My point of view is that in any relationship there should be equality. If the other person is wrong we need to fight with that person to prove the person wrong. But my mom is a bit diplomatic, at least that’s what I think. Her point of view is that in every relationship we need to ‘ADJUST’.
FYI: I hate this word.
Adjusting or compromising in any relationship is like giving up the power to the other person. He/she takes the decision, he/she wins every fight, and in short that person has the advantage in the relationship.
As a teenager I don’t want to give away the power, to anyone. I want my power to myself. My question being “WHY SHOULD I BOW DOWN WHEN I CAN ARGUE?”.
Though the argument proves that I’m right. But proving right may also mean that I bring a knot in that relationship. And that resolving of knot may bring more knots or solve the knot.
But are you brave enough to bring that knot in a relationship like: Mother-son, Best friends or siblings?
In my teenage phase I was, but as I grow up I am learning that “the solving” is not an option. Once there is a knot, there will always be a knot. And I’m not brave enough to create a knot. Though I hate it, I will adjust. It’s very important for the person and me both. Because for me the person is more important than the power.
Giving away the power does not mean that the person involved may take advantage of me. Still if he/she does, the foundation is gone and then rather than creating a knot just break the rope and be free of the relationship. Because then the question is of self-respect more than the power.
What do you think? What is more important for you, your power (ego) or the person?